Being a yoga teacher has it’s highs and lows, just like life. What matters is what we do with those feelings. Yoga teaches us about non-attachment and it is important not to get attached to the good, or the bad. Everything comes and goes, waxes and wanes, ebbs and flows. This is life.
I love teaching yoga. It is absolutely amazing to watch people grow in their practice and to see them feel good, really good . . . at peace, sometimes for the first time in a long time. This is one of the most satisfying aspects of the job for me. Every time I teach I put my whole heart into it. Yoga isn’t just a physical exercise. It’s a philosophy, a lifestyle. But . . . and this is a BIG but . . . it’s different for everyone. We all internalize it in our own ways and these ways change and shift over time depending on our lives.
For the most part, my teaching is fulfilling. Students stay after class to talk, connect and ask questions. This is wonderful! But, every once in a while a student throws you for a loop. Since I teach at a college, I guess this is to be expected. One credit hour can mean the difference between financial aid and zip. My classes have been full since I started teaching there, and word of mouth brings more people each quarter. This quarter, however, has been particularly painful and trying. I’ve had two students (a couple? I don’t know) in class who laugh, smirk, check out and look at each other throughout. I breathe to get through it and tell myself don’t worry about it . . . all of the others are loving class. However, it can take a lot out of a person. I realize my ego is in all of this. I realize yoga is so much bigger than me, but seriously. How can people be that UN-self-aware? Or do they not care or realize it’s hurtful? I go on, seemingly unaffected because its not fair to the other students to give it too much of my energy. Hold the space. Be the peace.
What I’ve been feeling lately is a bit depleted. I teach, but don’t nourish myself enough by taking classes. It’s just difficult due to the length of travel to get there. On top of this, I feel isolated at times, as a teacher, rural, with like-minded people only close via the web. For this I am truly grateful, but I need more. Here.
So, on goes it. I took a second job doing something else I love . . . writing! Plus I am connecting with people directly, working for a fabulous company that is forward thinking in their approach to business. I can work whenever and wherever I have access to a computer, phone and internet. I am connecting, not through yoga, but professionally and personally. I am using my intellect and the skills I gained in my “former life” but without all of the bureaucracy that went along with it. I’d say I’m not sure how it happened, but that wouldn’t be true. When we open ourselves to life, we get exactly what we need. I feel blessed to be walking in my shoes today.
What is interesting is that whenever I think I’ve made up my mind about something, another layer gets tossed on top of it. I had a girl stop me after class tonight, telling me she really enjoys my class and that she hopes I’ll continue to teach there. We connected through our hearts and though yoga. Then a second person emailed me when I got home, asking where I am teaching now and asked if he could “drop in” anywhere. . .
Ultimately, I’ve decided to cut back to two classes per week at the local college and will likely continue at the other location with potential breaks in between sessions. I need to find time to take some classes instead of teaching them. As a teacher, I am a student too; maybe more so.
I’ve realized in the process that yoga connects us in so many ways. Unimaginable ways sometimes. I am a part of my student’s lives. They tell me stories, cry on my shoulder, share triumphs and deplete me. This is life and I AM LIVING IT. Fully! Life is a journey. I’m not sure the path I am taking right now, but you know what? It’s okay. It will all work out as it is supposed to, and probably better than expected!
Peace Love & Light on your path!
p.s. to my blog friends . . . stay with me. My visits are more sporadic these days, but connections are deeper than comments. 
Posted by namaste*heather 
